Back in the day, around the age 40, I began to be a little bit self aware. By that I mean, I finally figured out that when I got too stimulated I got silly, talked even more than usual, got irritable and couldn't sleep well. Once I even got my counselor to recommend a psychiatrist who could diagnose me. The psychiatrist just told me to come back when I felt I was in a manic mode.
The last couple days I began to recognize the symptoms reappearing. Irritable, check. Silly, check! Talkative, check! Not sleeping well, check. Spending money, check.
Do you think calling the manager over three times at Percy and Willies would be called irritable?
Even if you have three good reasons?
How about if you go into Target to get a $47 IPOD shuffle and you come out with $237 IPOD and docking station?
How about picking up a hitchhiker? Did that, too; this am.
The thing about it is; it is fun to be manic. You can get 1,000 things done in ten minutes. You are friendly and funny (at least to yourself). You can take sleeping pills and sleep even if you do get up at 5:30 or 6 AM.
So I went to see Cousin Ken, my husband's cousin and my physician. He has been a great gift to me. All other docs I've had in this town couldn't have picked me out of a line up, much less known my history. Ken talks to me like I am a colleague. He explains things; talks about the pros and cons. He has even let me come in on Sunday when I was in dire straights. It doesn't get any better!
Starting tonight I will be taking a medicine to help me get unstimulated. I can do this w/out meds but I have to have about a week without any engagements involving people. People stimulate me (not manually, of course). TV stimulates me; the newspaper can stimulate me when I'm getting manic.
I am like a hot air balloon.....but instead of heat....stimulation makes me get higher and faster. Its fun but not healthy.
Here's to good mental health!