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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Marriage is a Double Tree

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If my title makes no sense to you, stay tuned, I will explain. The first ten, or maybe it was twenty years Curtis and I were married we had a terrible time working together.

Oh, we loved each other and we had fun together; we just couldn't work together. If he needed to go on the roof (which happens a lot around here...pine straw don't you know) he wanted me to stand and hold the ladder. I am a lot of things; but I am not a ladder holder. I start out well; but I get distracted. I start pulling weeds, sweeping the carport....and before I know it I am off in the back forty piddling around.

On his part. WE would have a project. Translation: I had a good idea. Put up a swing for the kids. Build a sandbox or a play house, whatever. His immediate reaction: "It won't work!" Now if you want to push my buttons tell me something won't work! You can say, " have you thought and so...or maybe if we did so and so....but to flat out say it won't work....lights my fire!

To say we have been in counseling several times is to put it mildly.

One thing we figured out for ourselves was that we both have the tendency to pick up our marbles and go home figuratively when we feel left out of the process or angry about the decision. You want it your way, FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY, BABY and I will SIT DOWN and WATCH you DRAG the whole NINE YARDS and you will see how much fun that is!!!

God, who is rich in mercy and know how to speak to us in ways even we can understand revealed this big iron and wood monstrosity under our farm shed covered up by fifty years of dirt.

Curtis knew what it was and brought it home.

I had no clue. But looking at it even I could discern. It was something to hook TWO animals to.

Proper name: A DOUBLE TREE: Use: When pulling a plow you want both animals pulling equally one cannot be slacking off or the work will suffer. BINGO WE get it God. No more of this sitting down letting the other drag the rest of the family because I don't like the decision etc...

So it hangs under our carport where we see it everyday coming out of our door to remind us...we promised God.... we are yoked together. And it really works every the nitty gritty. I set the table, he cooks, I clean up, he buys the groceries, I put them away, I wash the clothes, and hang them, he helps fold, its not a formal agreement, we just help each other. Its been 43 years now.....and I'm loving him more every day :) I love being yoked up with my man!


Anonymous said...

Oh, what a sweet and thoughtful post. I love that you share your heart and life and wisdom and struggles and victories with us. Us younger women need to hear all that stuff. Thanks for putting Titus 2 into practice. We love you and appreciate you---and your wonderful, sweet hubby, too!

Gabby said...

I am sure that principle is the key to success in marriage. That and remembeing that we took an oath before God, and God is who needs to lead the Double Tree in the first place!
I am ao glad you and Dad are getting to enjoy each other, I saw Mr. James pushing Martha down the drive in her wheelchair yesterday and it was so sad to see her like that. I am thankful that you and Dad are healthy and happy together, it is a blessing! Who knows how long we have, or who we will spend it with.
Dad is a keeper! He loves you so much, you are a great team!
Comforting in a world of unfaithful governors, TV personalities, humans...