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Monday, September 26, 2011

Even More Meanderings

http://keriwyattkent.com/soul/    This is a blog I recommend.  I heard Keri on Midday Connection and went looking for her to find the website that has an in depth analysis of words from the Bible.  I have emailed her asking for that website and will let you know when I hear from her.  But in the meantime she writes in her blog about writing, Mary Bailey, and about being a soccer mom, Gabby.  So check it out.

Hubs and I went to visit Ruth Benjamin yesterday.  We had company about when we planned to go so it was supper time when we got there.  She was lying in bed eating her dinner (tomato soup, pimento cheese sandwich, tater tots, orange juice, tea, water, lemon jello and Shasta cola).  My sources had told me she loves Pepsi and Juicy Fruit gum so I brought both.

She no longer likes Pepsi, it makes her itch (who knew) but had me open the Juicy Fruit so I guess it was a hit.  I can see that "loving Ruth" is going to be harder than I thought.  I can barely understand her....my deafness....her dialect ,lack of teeth and being on her back.  She did say she does get to be up in a chair off and on during the day.  And she had two visitors besides us yesterday.  I didn't catch who they were.

I have had plans to bring her flowers and or plants, send her cards, play black gospel cd's for her, take her to ride, hear her life story.  I just thought I'd bring you along on this journey.  All of the above may happen or none of the above.....we will see.

We developed a saying or theory in our home when the kids were growing up about "loving other people and ourselves."  It developed because we recognized that we often wanted to do something for someone because we loved them.....but they didn't appreciate or want our love in that way.  For example we might offer to keep our neighbor's children......but if wasn't "loving them" (they didn't want us to) it wasn't the thing to do.  Or if we did it and had bad grumpy attitudes then it wasn't loving us either.

I can see how this Mrs. Ruth thing could go that way.  I want to bring Pepsi.....it isn't loving her...it makes her itch.  I want to be her friend but she's never had a white friend and doesn't understand why I'm coming.

Have you ever done something to show someone love but it wasn't appreciated?  I guess that is why Gary Chapman wrote the 5 love languages.  I also think it has something to do with wanting to love someone in a way that is convenient for us not them.  Does this resonate with anyone?

2 comments:

Gabby said...

Well, I think learning to love your spouse the way THEY like to be loved, especially if it is not the "love language" you speak naturally is super tough.

I know that I have tried to love LOTS of people the way that I like to be loved, and it falls on "empty hearts", meaning, it did not make them feel as loved as it made me feel doing it FOR them. If that makes any sense.
I also think sometimes I have a hidden agenda I maybe don't even realize at the time, you know, that I want them to freak out over how awesome I was for them, and you know, that is not exactly selfless loving, it's manipulation.
Okay, maybe more info than you wanted?

mary bailey said...

This reminds me of the time I gave my dying neighbor a new nightgown as well as some other goodies, and she said that she only liked long nightgowns, and I had brought her a short one.

My problem is I *think* about doing stuff a lot, but then I let life get in the way, and I never do it.

Very thought-provoking post!