Judy and Her Guy

This is my second cousin Judy and her husband Pete. They are from the Gates side of MY family, as in BILL GATES. That would be a PORCHE. Seriously, it is a Porche, she is my second cousin, three years younger than me; she now lives in the Seattle area but none of us are related to Bill Gates that we know of.

Judy teaches music in a public school in their area. Pete has worked professionally with the Boy Scouts of America until he retired last year. This year he has been a substitute school bus driver. A week before school ended he left in his Porche, picked up his brother who is 3 year older and headed to Pete's 50th high school reunion in Cincinatti. Blue Suede Shoes and all.

Then Pete and his brother went back to each of the 15 houses they had lived in while they were growing up. (Here we thank God for the invention of the GPS.) His father was a city planner/ community developer kind of guy which necessitated moving on to new communities to try out new concepts etc...

If you know anything about public school music teachers, you know that the end of the year is when the put on final performances so there was no way she could cut out early to accompany Pete on this saga. She rejoined him after the "house tour". They came to us after visiting her brother who happens to live in North Myrtle Beach.

We had a good visit. They are Christians which makes us pretty like minded. Pete was good about reminding us to get off the subject of Michael Jackson, Mark Sanford, and any other mean spirited conversation to higher ground in a very kind and loving way. :)

They not only went to church and Sunday school but opted to go to the Butler Heritage Gospel Sing with me Sunday afternoon. In our town, the formerly Black High School, Butler, was closed about 1980 to comply with desegregation laws. The graduates of this school have worked hard to keep it open and honor its place in the community. Every year, the week of the Fourth of July the alumni have events all week. Yesterday was the gospel sing. We were very impressed with the quality of the singers and enjoyed it very much.

It was good to share hugs and prayers with family!

A Marriage is a Double Tree

If my title makes no sense to you, stay tuned, I will explain. The first ten, or maybe it was twenty years Curtis and I were married we had a terrible time working together.

Oh, we loved each other and we had fun together; we just couldn't work together. If he needed to go on the roof (which happens a lot around here...pine straw don't you know) he wanted me to stand and hold the ladder. I am a lot of things; but I am not a ladder holder. I start out well; but I get distracted. I start pulling weeds, sweeping the carport....and before I know it I am off in the back forty piddling around.

On his part. WE would have a project. Translation: I had a good idea. Put up a swing for the kids. Build a sandbox or a play house, whatever. His immediate reaction: "It won't work!" Now if you want to push my buttons tell me something won't work! You can say, " have you thought about......so and so...or maybe if we did so and so....but to flat out say it won't work....lights my fire!

To say we have been in counseling several times is to put it mildly.

One thing we figured out for ourselves was that we both have the tendency to pick up our marbles and go home figuratively when we feel left out of the process or angry about the decision. You want it your way, FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY, BABY and I will SIT DOWN and WATCH you DRAG the whole NINE YARDS and you will see how much fun that is!!!

God, who is rich in mercy and know how to speak to us in ways even we can understand revealed this big iron and wood monstrosity under our farm shed covered up by fifty years of dirt.

Curtis knew what it was and brought it home.

I had no clue. But looking at it even I could discern. It was something to hook TWO animals to.

Proper name: A DOUBLE TREE: Use: When pulling a plow you want both animals pulling equally one cannot be slacking off or the work will suffer. BINGO WE get it God. No more of this sitting down letting the other drag the rest of the family because I don't like the decision etc...

So it hangs under our carport where we see it everyday coming out of our door to remind us...we promised God.... we are yoked together. And it really works every day....in the nitty gritty. I set the table, he cooks, I clean up, he buys the groceries, I put them away, I wash the clothes, and hang them, he helps fold, its not a formal agreement, we just help each other. Its been 43 years now.....and I'm loving him more every day :) I love being yoked up with my man!

Building Men...Leaving a Legacy

After yesterdays post I've been thinking a lot about how do you build men of character. These are two of the three men our family is in the process of building. The one on the right is three year old Gates. The one on the left is his 9 year old cousin from Rock Hill. Both were together here for a while on Sunday. Gates is spending the week with us while his parents are in California. He is our youngest grandchild. Our last shot at helping to build a Christian man.

Every day I try to listen to Chris Fabry Live on Moody Radio. Thursday's program dealt with Father's day and a lot of people called in and talked about the most significant man in their life. It wasn't always their dad. Some of them came from single parent families and were raised by their Mom.

One of those remembers how his Dad would drive nine hours when he got off work on Friday and be asleep in his car in their driveway when he woke up on Saturday morning. He had a neighbor with a couple of boys who took him under his wing and grandfather let them put a mobile home across the road on his farm so he spend a lot of time with his granddad. He remembers walking over to the barn and hearing his granddad praying out loud to God for his family, his country, his neighbors and him.

Having Gates here reminds us of our responsibility to be godly grandparents and leave a legacy. Curtis had grandparents who spent time with him. He was the oldest grandchild on both sides of his family. One grandfather had debilitating arthritis but he kept him company and rode around the farm with him. The other had a country store and he helped keep the store and farmed with him. Both Grandmothers heavily influenced him also.

I only knew one of my grandparents. The visits were few and far between and she was pretty elderly but sweet. The person who influenced me the most was our maid Rose. She spent the most time with me of anyone. Fortunately she had good character, was fun, and loved me.

Lord, help us remember......you expect us to be a GODLY influence on all those around us....especially our families. Help us, Lord, help us!

Yesterday

Yesterday, Father's Day, I went to the funeral of this young man, Josh Howle, age 23, in his final year at the University of Georgia School of Veterinary Science. At least 50 of his classmates choose be at the funeral.

Josh and his brother Jerry were part of our Plainview Elementary School/Family. As the minister said. The heart of the community has been broken. This minister, who I had never met, but had grown up in the community and pastored in North Carolina, said he had never met a finer man than Josh Howle. That says a whole lot to me.

He said a lot of people were saying how said for him to die just before he got to be a vet. He said not so. Josh has been a vet his whole life. He has been taking care of people's animals for free. He said you can tell what people's passion is when they do it for free. There is a lot of truth in those words people.

Three cousins and their two aunts (I taught 3 of the five) sang Beulah Land. It was beautiful. It made you want to go there right now; and it made you glad Josh was there.

The closing hymn the congregation sang Jesus is Calling......Josh had been playing it on the piano at home before he left for the errand where he had the accident that took his life. Coincident? I don't think so.

When Josh was in fourth or fifth grade I wrote a grant to get a Poet in Residence come to our school for a week. She worked with the 4-7th graders every day. I was amazed; she taught them pretty much what she taught her college students and they got it. I remember Josh wrote some beautiful poems about his Dad and his Mom. We made an anthology; I'm going up to school today to see if their a copy left anywhere so I can take it to them for comfort. Pray I find it.

We just don't know how long we have our children.....or grandchildren....or husbands....or parents....cherish them today......we may not have tomorrow.

Beautimus Daughter and Family

Can be seen at www.sweetestpea.blogspot.com

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Mrs. Manners and Her Granddaughter Megan

My Granddaughter Megan is in town for the week to attend Miss Manner's Camp at the YMCA. As her Grandmother, I wanted to be sure she was raised as a proper Southern lady and be sure I had not neglected any of the finer points of her etiquette lessons.

It turns out I had. I had omitted instructing her in the following areas:

• a lady never enters room with her "rear" preceding her; always lead with your legs
• when introducing someone; always introduce the older person to the younger as in "Nana, I would like you to meet my friend, Alaina."
• Saying please and thank you were stressed. It never hurts for young people to hear this from another pair of lips other than their parents, grandparents and teachers.
• Use of "yes, Mam" and "No, Sir" were also deregetur. Now this was a requirement at my house. No "huh?" to my father. I did not like this rule; so I foolishly abandoned it with my children. Later as a teacher; I realized the error of my ways. A child who says "yes, Mam and "No, Mam" will earn better grades and go farther in life than one who doesn't. It is scientifically proven. I guarantee it. You can take that to the bank....or maybe not the bank...but you can put that under your new mattress.

Our freshman year at Coker College we had an etiquette class taught by the Dean of Women I don't know if we got college credit; I rather think not but it WAS required. The two things I never forgot.

She told us to always cut up a hot dog in a bun. Now that is stupid. I can just see you at the next camp fire with your paper plate asking the hostess, "mam, do you happen to have a knife? I need to cut up my hot dog? No more cook outs for you, Missy. Probably no more dates either.

The other was: ALWAYS cut up your FRIED chicken. To this day I feel guilty NOT doing this. You notice I don't do it; but I do feel guilt if I am with someone who might possibly know better and think I don't know better. (But those people are few and far between; best remedy...leave the dang chicken alone on those occasions it will be a problem. You can't get it off the bone with a knife and fork. Oh, this was before the day of the boneless chicken....those suckers hadn't been invented yet.

In the picture above, Megan and I are going to make an appearance at a political function our rich doctor cousin's and his wife were giving for a person running for governor of SC in 2010. A good occasion to try out our manners and no chicken or hot dogs were involved and we certainly did not back into the room!

Kimberly and Davy Crockett

These two stellar looking children have grown up into two extremely handsome young adults. They are the offspring of two wonderful friends of my husband and mine.





How did we meet you ask? The wife, Margaret and I were both attending Christian Women's Club in Florence. (Harts'Vegas never had a Club or at least not a "Christian Women's Club") I applied to lead a "Friendship Bible Coffee" She applied to host a "Friendship Bible Coffee".





They gave her my name and number. She called me. We talked at least two hours. (IF you you either or both of us you know I am NOT LYING about the length of that conversation.)





As we set up the date and time of our first "Friendship Bible Coffee" (Without Consulting our Husbands....good submissive Christian Wives that we are) she gave me her address and I squeal led....(its something I learned down here in the south)...."you live right down the road...like maybe a mile away!"





Thus began a lifelong (does 25 plus years count as life long; I think so) friendship!





And a lot of drama! Margaret and Wayne met in Covenant Players....a Christian Drama Group that travels all over the USA for "love offerings" (in Christian parlance that means "we work for fa place to sleep and food"). They put on skits at churches and sleep wherever the church tells them (probably NOT together. But this is good training for marriage....no money....terrible living conditions lots of stress!





When they were in HartsVegas Margaret was the Welcome Wagon Lady. (My Goodness...does anyone under 55 even know what I am talking about. No matter, I will explain. For a pittance, Like a $1.00 a month, Margaret, would assemble baskets of products from a the local businesses that wanted to participate and when a new family moved into Hartville The Chamber of Commerce would contact her and she would make an appointment to come by and bring the new residents their Welcome Wagon gift basket filled with coupons and gifts.





Margaret had to be the Queen of Welcome Wagon Hostesses. Margaret could and can still "chat up a stump." (This is a compliment....my husband also says this about my daughter and I so I know it is a compliment.)





Wayne is A Jolly Good Fellow who is the perfect complement to Margaret. Wayne, like my son Todd, lives, eats, sleeps, dreams and whatever else there is SPORTS. He is also honest as the day is long and trustworthy and loyal. He sells insurance to mostly low income people. HE will not sell someone a policy THEY DON"T NEED or CAN'T AFFORD.





MARGARET and WAYNE are the REAL DEAL. They will stop on the interstate and change your tire. They will get a homeless person a meal....Margaret will take them home and cook them a meal....Wayne probably would too but I've never had his cooking. Margaret can make a cheesecake that will make you slap your MAMA....so if your MAMA is living...DO NOT EAT IT.





I love Kimberly and Davy Crockett. Kimberly was the first baby I ever saw nurse....and she was good at it. The two of them are the closest brother and sister team I know even though Sis is married.





I love you Fo' Bears. (Inside Joke) I will publish more pictures Kimberly....if you don't get back to bloggin.....they involve parental nudity....get with it girl!

The Rest of Your Life

In case you are unsure what the antique looking label pictured above is about, it is , sob, a picture of the label of our first, and one and only mattress. We purchased it at Stuckey Brothers in Stuckey, South Carolina before we were married and it was the only piece of furniture we owned. We did by a king size Craftique four poster bed to go with said mattress.

Now, through the years, people have tried to convince us that perhaps it was time for a new mattress. We would tell them our label said, "For the Rest of Your Life". It just dawned on us; that the slogan meant for the rest (as in best sleep) of your life. Oh. You mean after 43 years its time to retire the old girl? But our babies were er....conceived on her. And there were other happy moments on her. We have movies of our naked babies wiggling around on her.

The grand babies have slept with us on her. No, not the children. No way, no how!

So she is gone...but not forgotten.

And here is her replacement. With the new quilt I had just made to fit the old, sob, mattress. We took her measurements with us to the store. We could only buy a mattress that the quilt would fit. I mean I put a gazillion hours into that quilt; we have had the quilt a week and we were buying a mattress to fit the quilt not the other way around.





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Money Can't Buy This

I so wish digital cameras had been invented back in the day when I started teaching. Like 1966. Then I would have photos to go with these stories. Yesterday I had a surprise blessing.

There is a group here in Hartsville called the Sonoco Men's Chorus. It is a Black Men's Singing Group that has been singing for publicly for 49 years. I have seen articles in our local paper ever since I have lived here but I have never managed to hear or see them perform. Yesterday they were to be performing at 4 pm some where in Hartsville. I called my good friend Bobbie to see if she wanted to go. While she waited on the phone, I looked on line to make sure where the performance would be and found out it would cost us $8.00 each.

I was sure that would end that outing for both of us. (We are both NOTORIOUS cheapskates.) Surprisingly she said, "No, I'll go."

Well, when we got our programs we found out there were eight other groups scheduled to perform. One of them was the Kay Branch Youth Choir. I knew one of my former students directed the adult choir so I thought maybe she directed the youth, too.

The Sonoco Men were first. They were so good. I love black gospel. I have some Mahalia Jackson, Mighty Clouds of Joy, Andre Crouch, Babbie Mason CD's but that's about it. But they sang what I presume to be real old timey gospel. "I'm sendin' up some lumber" "Don't want to cause no one to stumble" and the audience knew the songs and clapped in time.

Then came two seven year old little boys in white face and white gloves who mimed to two songs about how strong God is and how He holds on to and protects us and watches over us and never lets go of us. They got a standing ovation from us all. So precious, I hope they never forget those words and store them in their heart.

Finally, The Kay Branch Youth Choir and there was my Carmen front and center in the choir of about thirty 25-35 year olds who could sing your socks off.

I had Carmen in Kindergarten at our local Antioch School the first year I taught there. I think there were about 15 in the class and it was an all day kindergarten. It was pretty racially balanced. She had two buddies in the class Dora Lee and Renee. The three of them were the Supremes at recess; they got those wooden jump rope handles, held them up to their mouths and let loose with some "Stop in the Name of Love" and "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" and I loved every minute of it.

Now Carmen came from a godly family that lives maybe a mile from my house. Her mother worked in another school cafeteria. I forget where her Dad worked, probably Sonoco. Dora Lee's Mom was a single Mom who had one other child, a special ed boy and no husband. Renee's Mom I don't think had a husband Renee had a couple of siblings. I doubt Carmen heard the Supreme's much at home but Renee and Dora Lee no doubt did and taught Carmen the words.

I have never seen Renee or Dora Lee again. I would love to.

Carmen works at the bank where we bank. It is a local community bank and everyone there loves her. She has personality plus. If I ever go in, I go tell anyone I can find about her singing with the jump rope, "Stop in the Name of Love" and you can believe I act out the motions and Carmen laughs and laughs.

You can bet I went up to her as she came off stage and said, I'm glad I got to see you sing without your jump rope and she hugged me and laughed. I got to see her Mama too and tell her how proud I am of Carmen.

You don't make a lot of money teaching but there are memories and experiences money can't buy.

Animal Rescue

I am an animal lover. Not quite as over the top as my daughter who brought home a dead opossum in her arms held upside down when she was about four. She could not also watch any movie where an animal was scolded, punished, or hurt in any way. The Horse Whisperer, no way. The one where the dog travels a gazillion miles to get back to his family, nope not that one. I would sit there and say....."it is not real, honey....they are not going to hurt, animals that are worth a million dollars, it is called acting.....and this was when she was twenty years old (just kidding....she was eighteen)

But I have always had at least one dog. Sometimes a dog and a cat. Sometimes a dog, a cat and a parakeet. Sometimes, a dog, a cat, and two baby opossums. Curtis and I began married life with Shep his English Shepherd who was about 13. Shep could throw a 500 pound bull in his prime. He also fathered quite a number of pups in our community without benefit of marriage I might say. Shame on you Shep.

Then we got Doodles, a young Shep, just in case Shep passed on (which he did) about the only dog we had that died of natural causes. Right under the bush by our back steps. Then we had Puff, a Peek-a-Poo, our first "child". He had a pacifier when our twins came a long. He swang (?) swingged(?) rode in their wind up swings just like they did. Then one day he felt the call of his testosterone and went a wandering. We cried, we prayed, we advertised a $500 reward (that would be $5,000 in today's dollars). We promised to get him a wife and a steak.

Lo and behold he did come back on his own and we kept our promise. He did not keep his. Its hard to keep a dog down on the farm after he's been off following female in heat if you get my drift. Months later we found his little skeleton in one of the big ditches at the back of our place.

I could go on and on. There was the Pekingese. The English Sheepdog (not a good idea on a farm with cockle burs) many bird dogs, my brother's dog Taco, Tinie the overweight long haired dashund, Vickie the toy Manchester Terrier and Scout the present Love of our lives, a Rat Terrier who has NO INTEREST in rats or mice.

All this to say. I see the rescue animals on tv and in the paper and I do want to bring them home but I know I can't because my husband and I go hither and you doing house sits and our son keeps Scout (in return for us babysitting our grandson). I don't think he wants to keep more than one animal....in fact I'm pretty durn sure he doesn't.

BUT I saw this brother and sister sitting forlornly.....looking at me like.....please take us.....and I just couldn't resist .....even though my husband HATES cats (sorry cat lovers but it is true).

Ta Dah.....our newest family members we are taking suggeting for names!

Queen of Mathematics and More

Yesterday I had the privilege of going to the retirement luncheon for one of my favorite people, Sandra Sue Traylor, THE BEST MATH TEACHER, in the WORLD. The whole world voted and she won. Really, I am sure. I counted the votes, and EVERY one knows how accurate I am....so there you go.....it is official!

Sandy, as those who know and love her call her, taught at Plainview for 27 years folks. She didn't start out in Math. I think there was a few years in third or fourth before the Lord gave her a sign (like a Math book appeared in a pile of junk (I meal teaching materials) on her desk and she knew it was God telling her to take the Math position for Fifth, Sixth and Seventh Grades. For all you non teachers out there.....that is three preparations for every day and about a gazillion math papers to grade every night. And don't think she didn't grade them every night....she might be blind in one eye now and can't see out of the other nowadays but she graded every dang paper and if those kiddos didn't bring back that signed average card the NEXT day...they wouldn't see recess until they did. And she meant that thing. And if they managed to get to fifth grade without knowing the multiplication tables....heaven help them....they'd better bring a picture of the sky and the sun with them to school because they were never going to see either until they learned those tables....we are talking backwards and forwards in a timed test!

But the thing is Sandy never demanded any more of her students or principals than she demanded of herself. So we all improved by being on the team with her.

And she wasn't just left brained (or which ever side it is that does math) she read novels to her classes. The Great Gilly Hopkins and The Worst Christmas Pageant Ever are a few I remember. And she reads bunches for her own personal enjoyment. And serves God in her church.

Sandy is a woman of few words. I am a woman of oh so many words, but we connected. The first day I came to Plainview to interview the kids saw me talking to the Principal in the cafeteria and reported to her that her sister was in the cafeteria. Since her sister lived in Virginia she did not really believe that possible. We had some things in common. We both had twins. Her twins were the same age as my non-twin daughter. I was from Washington, DC, she was from Va, (we both just missed being Yankees) She helped me understand life from an introverts point of view......I helped her tolerate extroverts.

Sandy has overcome many obstacles (divorce, breast cancer, depression to name a few) and they have all helped make her one of the FINEST people I know and one of the Best teachers I have ever known. Happy, happy, happy, retirement Sandra Sue.....I love You!



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Lord, When I think About the Ways....

You have guided me, blessed me and protected me and loved me.

I am amazed, and overwhelmed, and my eyes fill with greatful tears.

Anyone who doubts your loving kindness just hasn't experienced your love like I have. I am continually amazed at how extravagant your love is.

You made sure this orphan child got the very best home and care she could possibly get. You got me to the best college for me even thought it was so far out of the realm of possibility you got me there so I could make friends that would last a life time and meet a man I would love for a life time..

You gave me a healthy body and an intelligent mind so I could fulfill the calling you gave me to teach children which I continue to love to do to this day.

You made me aware of your Son and His Salvation when I was young enough to train them in the faith and not only did they not depart but they married Christian women and but they and raising their children to be Christ followers.

God you are so good. If you never did another thing for me....you have already done more than enough. Thank you Father God. I love you with all my heart. Help me love you with my words and actions.

The Sweetest Pea an Her Sweetest Pod

During my brief soiree into writers block yesterday, I forgot the most important thing about yesterday....it was Sweetest Pea's and Sweetest Pod's Thirteenth Anniversary :)

Are they not the sweetest, handsomest couple you ever saw :) Nod your head, yes mam!

They got married in a fever....no I mean they got married in Charleston, SC....the weathah was per'fect dah'ling. They were married in St. Luke's Chapel that was an arsenal during the Warah Betwean tha States (Known down here as the wara of northern aggression....you know the one).

Pea and Pod planned the whole thing and did it up right. The reception was at the College of Charleston Alumni House (an Antebellum House with a lovely Garden out back which we used as well as the house.) Piano music. Oh, of course string quartet in the chapel. Lovely, lovely, lovely.....

My relatives and friends traveled from far and wide to be there to help us celebrate.....the only ones missing were dead (which is an acceptable excuse even in the South.) My niece's daughter, who was my flower girl, and my nephew's daughter, who was my ring bearer, were Pea's flower girls. They were precious. During the ceremony they reached up and stroked Pea's train....with such reverence you would have thought it was Princess Diana's.

There were NO MESS UPS. My daughter is a planner par excellance. And she did all this in Charleston on the budget she was given......$5,000. Give the girl a standing ovation! Thank you Lord for my Sweetest Pea and for Sweetest Pod and for their little pea pods.

Meanwhile Back at the SHL

Well, until ten seconds ago I had bloggers block. Which had never happened to me before. Then I thought about where I was going today, the Society Hill Library, and bingo, I remembered I had promised to tell you about two more of our patrons. I will start with Devon first. When I was the branch manager, and was there 8 hours a day, I really looked forward to four o'clock when the school bus from Darlington arrived.

The former librarian had introduced me to Devon and told me what a great guy he was. Devon did not disappoint. He knew way more about the library computer system than I did and often got me out of jams. (We used a different system in my school library and I think I had ten minutes training before they left me alone in Society Hill as the manager.)

The library closed at eight and I would offer to take Devon home. After all the boy got on the bus at 6 am......he had had no supper.....it was the least I could do. His home was a ramshackle trailer (NOT a mobile home) on the black side of town. About six blocks from the library. When he worked on school stuff, which was not all that often, I insisted on him letting me proof read his work. (I was a high school English teacher at one time.) His work wasn't bad; it was usually past due.

I printed up assignment pages with dates and subjects.....organized his notebook....and tried to organize his book bag......if I could have just gotten in that trailer.....BAM! as Emeril would say! It would probably have been BAM as a shotgun went off.

There were A lot of teenagers in Devon's family. I never could get them all straight. Not all of them lived in Society Hill. His Dad lived somewhere else. Sometimes he went to Alabama or wherever in the summer for a week or so to visit. Sometimes a teenage sister came to the library, but usually it was Devon all day every day in the summer.

His grandparents own some kind of "store" across from the street where I turn to take him home. There where no lights except one dim green bulb hanging down on the from stoop of what to me looked like a house not a store and a couple of men hanging around.

The good news is: Devon finishes high school this week at the county Magnet School in Darlington and has been accepted at Winthrop a SC College (not a black college) in Rock Hill. Now how he will get there is a mystery. I have never seen a car at the trailer. As far as I know he doesn't have his driver's license. South Carolina does have Life Scholarships for all who maintain an A/B average. I've had really good former students who were organized and motivated who didn't do that.

I hope and pray Devon can break the cycle of poverty in his family and graduate from college. He wants to major in Education. Did I mention he has a GREAT personality? He does. I hope he makes it! Libraries can make a difference folks.....just ask Devon!