Weight Weight Don't Tell Me!

I love Saturday NPR Radio. Click and Clack, This American Life and Wait, Wait Don't Tell me!

I just couldn't resist using the homophone for my title.

I guess after last Unfashionable Friday Shopping no Buying Spree (can that even be called a spree???? I guess not :( ) I have been thinking, maybe even obsessing about my weight.

My weight is the same it has been for at least five years.....I keep meticulous records.... I weigh almost every day and once a month I write down my measurements. These records date back to 1979 folks....so if there is ever a doubt I was once relatively thin..... I have documentation. And if you don't trust my records.....Weight Watchers has a file on me dating back to 1973 when I began the battle of the bulges in public after having my Baby Girl.

I "lost" (a misnomer if ever there was one) 50 pounds with Weight Watchers and went on to be a "Lecturer" for the organization. Supposedly you had to keep your weight within 5 pounds of goal to be a lecturer. As I palled around with the other lecturers, I learned that was so NOT true.
Basically, if you know your stuff and people will pay good money to come to your class....you will not be fired. The rumor at the time was that the franchise owner for SC had gained a MILLION pounds and was never seen in public. Truthfully, I never saw him myself....but he could have been in Tahiti or Monte Carlo with the gazillion dollars WW was making for him.

At any rate, back to my wait, wait.......I somehow got in denial I am fat. Don't tell me I'm not....I've got the XLG clothes and bra to prove it.......I don't know how I missed those clues myself :(

So I went back to the Y yesterday and joined. It's been ten years since I went every morning at 5:30AM before going to work. I still can't believe I not only did that but enjoyed it....

I remembered that old definition of insanity, you know the one, "Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results."

Running and eating kinda light was not going to budge a pound or an inch of flab......

Here's hoping exercises WILL tighten "things" up a bit.....okay a lot......

See 'ya.....I'm off to the Y!

Oh, Dandelion!

Imaginary Picture of Dandelion (couldn't seem to download one....grrrrr)
Colonel Ashton Gandy (if that is not a southern , Gone with the Wind name....I don't know what is)dropped by the library yesterday to recite this poem for me. He learned it in third grade.

Oh, Dandelion!

Oh, Dandelion

Yellow as gold

What do you do

all day?

I just stand here

in the tall, green grass

until my hair turns

white as snow

and the children come to play.

Oh, dandelion

yellow as gold

what do you do

when your hair is

white as snow

and the children

come to play?

They pick me up

in their little hands

and blow my hair

away.

He also came to tell me the latest "goin's on" in Society Hill.

Seems Miz Lula Mae Gressette had to be moved to the Presbyterian Home in Florence. She is a year younger than Aston but she has Alzheimer's and her daughter Suzanna couldn't keep help at home to stay with her.

Lula Mae ended up in Ashton's class because she SKIPPED A GRADE at St. David's Academy. That just doesn't happen now a days but back in the day if a child was considerably smarter than the others in her class she was just promoted to the class where she could be "challenged."

Colonel Gandy thinks the Presbyterian Home will be okay because a certain wealthy couple from Hartsville built their own home on the grounds there and left their "mansion" on Home Avenue for their daughter to live in.

An update was given on the status of Col. Gandy's dog, Tim (the rat terrier of dubious origins).

The Colonel had been keeping an envelope on the mantle containing $102 with Tim's name on it .

However, when they recently hired a housekeeper, Tim thought the money had best go to the safe deposit box at the bank. The Colonel has done this because the money is for Tim's care should he outlive his master. Tim is feeling secure knowing his future is safe.

The housekeeper, Mrs. Williams, has turned out to be quite satisfactory. The Colonel's sisters insisted he employ one when they saw how bad Tim and the Colonel were keeping house.

The Colonel acquiesced but insisted he continue to do his own wash and make his own bed.

He has had to cede the making of the bed to Mrs. Williams because he unknowingly bought fitted sheets and now he can't get them on successfully. He does still wash all sheets. A life long bachelor can only give up so much privacy, you know.

The Colonel has also moved downstairs to his mother's bedroom after much pressure from the sisters who feared he would take a tumble on the stairs and lie there unassisted for days.

He felt it was an invasion of his mother's privacy....even though she has been dead fifty years.

So you see.....I have to keep my job at the library to keep you updated on the exciting world of the "Old and Helpless" as the Colonel would say. It is a glimpse into a gentler, kinder world I wouldn't want to miss; I hope you feel the same.

Unfashionable Friday

Big Mama has Fashion Fridays and I know why......she isnt even big.

I went shopping today and everything out there is UNFASHIONABLE to my eyes......or at least on my body.

The sleazy polyester wild print stuff is too.....well, sleazy, polyester and wild for my taste.

The ruffled stuff is kinda cute but comes with tiny cap sleeves or NO sleeves. Not a good look for any one over a size 12.....and forty years of age.

I found a pretty pair of denim capris in peach, with jacket to match. But a denim jacket in Sauna Hot South Carolina? I don't work in a freezing cold doctor's office.....I'm healthy so I rarely even go in a doctor's office and doctors and dentists are the only people who can afford to have their air conditioners set below 80 degrees.

Also almost any color besides black or brown makes my rear end (My daughter does not allow me to use the b---t word) look even bigger than it is. That may seem impossible but do some people watching and you will see the women with the biggest bottoms (word I am allowed to use) have on pastel colored pants (or really short, shorts).

When my daughter was a teenager and college student, we did a lot of shopping together. We proudly would comment on the other females shopping and decide we should open a booth at every mall called TELL IT LIKE IT IS!

At this booth we would tell the shopping public things like....."if you are bigger than a size twelve....never be seen in public in those ........jogging pants, leggings, short shorts, a bathing suit etc...

This was just in case these people had not seen their rear ends in a 3-way mirror.....

I saw mine today and believe me "it ain't prettyville!"

Oh, well, back to the four letter word D--t......right after I finish off that pint of Cherry Garcia in the freezer.

.....And This is What I Love About the South

For some unexplained reason the azaleas around our house have bloomed better than ever.

In the past two months we have had summer like weather in the 80's for a day or two followed by freezing temperatures the next few nights.

I was sure every bud would cascade to the ground.

But alas, we returned from Hillsborough to find.....a Spring wonderland right in our own yard.

For those of you who don't know I came to Coker and South Carolina to find.....tah dah... The Old South.......had Gone With The Wind. My sweet husband built me my very own Tara; we had rocking chairs on the veranda BUT no darkies arrived with mint juleps.

What I did find were the nicest most real people EVER! I found grits (Yummo) fried okra (I even like it stewed) Collard greens (my husband can put a hurtin' on some collards) fried Squash that will make you slap your Momma . Biscuits to die for.....I do declare....I had never even eaten a biscuit until I came here.....now that is child abuse if I ever heard of it. Or cornbread! How bad is that?

So when people make fun of the South......Frankly, my dears, with food, flowers and friends like this, I don't give a damn!

The Little Library That Could

This is the library in Society Hill where I've been working since I retired.

The original library which is a tiny bit smaller was built in 1757. This one was built in 1957.

It is 700 square feet.....and as you can see it is packed!

When we get new books, which is monthly, we have to take some out of circulation to have room on the shelves. This is a hard decision....you hate to take John Steinbeck off the shelves to put on Nora Roberts.....BUT....truth be told Steinbeck hasn't been checked out since his book was purchased. So, off he goes to storage.

The best part of this library are the patrons. One of my favorites is Mr. G who lives across the street. He will be 90 soon. He usually comes by once a day to swap news. Who died? Who got married? What his dog Tim has been up to; what my dog Scout has been up to. Hot Topics!

Tim is a rat terrier; or should I say is supposed to be a rat terrier. However, when Mr. G saw Scout he began to wonder. Scout has papers, Tim does not. Tim is 4 times bigger than Scout.

Once I had the great idea for Mr. G to keep Scout while C and I went cross country for a month. I even sold Mr. G on the idea. So we did a practice run one weekend.

Mr. G liked Scout.

Scout liked Mr. G.

Guess who wasn't happy?

You guessed it.....Tim!

Mr. G. said while Tim was thinking about getting in his lap; Scout was already up there settled in. In a word, Tim was very jealous; so we had to let the idea go!

Now Mr. G being the wise, retired General he is has made plans for Tim in case of his demise (Mr. G's not Tim's). Tim has investments. He gets birthday money from family members and puts it in CD's. Tim says he doesn't trust the stock market....I don't know why. I have lobbied to be Tim's trustee but I'm not making much headway. Tim holds the Scout idea against me.

Well, that is just a little snippet of life from the SHL (Society Hill Library). Next time I'll tell you about Jeff and then maybe Andre. We've got some mighty interesting patrons here in Smalltown, South Carolina.

Y'all come!

Cooking with Permissive Nana

Here are the pictures of my youngest grandchild, Gates, making Easter cookies with Nana. Somehow he has survived to the ripe old age of 3 without making cookies with me.

Note, he is pretty well dusted with flour. Also he liberally used all of the sprinkles I have been accumulating for years now. But that is why I am called "Permissive Nana".

I never or hardly ever say No.

Want to dance naked in the rain? Why not?

Want to paint yourself with finger paints....sounds like fun to me.

Last night during bath time Gates wanted to tease me by drinking the water from the tub.

Even I, am not that permissive; I know what people do when they get in a tub of warm water.

So, I made my biggest ugliest face and said "Don't drink that...it is tee tee water!"

You would have thought I was Jay Leno and Johnny Carson....."Tee Tee Wadie",

Gates chortles!

So as a stand up wannabe I do what any good comic does....say it again..."Tee Tee Wadie!" more rolls of laughter.

Later my husband says something Gates interprets as "Poopie"....more belly laughs from the kid. It just goes to show...men love bathroom humor from an early age. It is genetic, folks!

Well, I have to go to work at the library today....so Gates just left for "school" aka...daycare.

I take down the basketball hoop from the den door, put away the finger paints, golf putter, golf balls, football, and wonder....why do they call me permissive Nana?

Things My Father Taught Me

Yesterday when I was pushing back the cuticles on my toenails; I thought about my Dad.

Why?

Because he taught me to push back my cuticles on my fingernails and toenails whenever I washed my hands or feet.

And I am Amazed.

Why?

Daddy was a Family Doctor who was seldom if ever home when I was awake. Yet he taught me so many things.

Like?

Hang up your clothes when you take them off. Do not pile them on a chair.
Wash your armpits and privates everyday. (Enuf' said)

He even shaved his underarms and tried unsuccessfully to get my brothers to shave theirs.

Wipe off excess water from the shower door and around the sink every time you use it.

(Which explains why I am constantly mopping up public bathroom sinks....thank goodness there are no showers in those lavatories>)

Pick up litter when you see it. (I catch myself picking up trash on our road, in parking lots etc...because this was the training he provided.)

Do not waste food. (He brought home food out of the hospital kitchen for our dog, his janitor's dog and I wouldn't be surprised it he ate some himself.) (PS he lived through the depression and had his furniture in his home repossessed....I have some of his patient's checks marked....unpaid...bank closed)

Recently in the latest Guideposts Issue (April) Jane Seymour shares about how her parents (and her Dad was a doctor too) would invite hungry people for dinner during the depression and they had a code word....FHB.....Family Hold Back! My uncle (Dad's brother Ted) told me they used FHB at their house growing up. My Grandfather would invite all these people to dinner....he even let a doctor have his office in their dining room and parlor for years....so there were many times FHB came in handy.

Daddy was a one of a kind gentleman. Interested in the little things and the little people. He was the doctor at the Masonic and Eastern Star home when he was 81 years old (in addition to his regular practice)....I imagine those old folks appreciated having someone with some age on his come by and talk to them.

Oh, he picked up things off the road. A basketball or baseball in a gutter. A bunch of beets that had fallen off a truck. (Hmmm....that is why I always have my eye on the side of the road....who knows what you might find.....

He always told me he found me "in the rag bag".....and I am so glad he did.

Home to the House in Byrdtown

"No matter where you go or how long you stay, there is nothing like coming home!"

Curtis and I had an uneventful and speedy ride home. Our girl, Scout, was overjoyed to see us although she assured us she had a very good time staying with her brother, Wayne and his family. She especially liked sleeping with Wayne, Niki and Gates...all in one bed, nice and cozy!

Above are two pictures of the "girls" we left behind!

Maggie is the large yellow dog and Blue the little black and white dog.

Hopefully you can tell Curtis and I apart :)

Come to the Church in the Wildwood

Today was Palm Sunday so we went to the little Methodist Church just down the road.

It was the happiest little church I have ever been in I do believe.

The children were gathered at the door getting their palms and came joyfully down the aisle waving them. So cute.....Jesus loved it I am sure!

The pastor has recently adopted two little boys from Guatemala. They are siblings about 2 and 3 years old.

For the children's sermon he had all the kids come sit on the palm leaves....."two rumply" said one of his boys. The pastor talked to the kids about how Palm Sunday was like if the President came to their school. People would wave and cheer....what else would they do he asked? Use their manners! said one. "No hitting or kicking" said another.
"Say please and thank you".

One little girl said "I have new shoes; how do you like them?"

"I like them", said Pastor Scott.

We had a Responsive Reading from Psalm 118.

We prayed the Lord's Prayer together.

Their choir of 8 did an Easter cantata of some of my favorite hymns.

Jesus, is the Cornerstone.
The Old Rugged Cross
I Love to Tell the Story

They invited us to stay for their Fellowship Meal after church and we did. I sat next to a lady who lost her husband last weekend, but was back in church today.

I talked with a woman who had custody of her cute little grandson Alex while her high school aged son helped fix the tables.

Just sinners saved by grace.....it was good to be in the house of the Lord with the family of God.

More Good Reads and Tar Heelia

I've read three of my "hostesses" books which were mighty good.

One was The Color of Water by James Hunter. This wonderful biography is of his mother his white Jewish Mother who raised 12 children (she was married to two different black men...not at the same time after the first one's death.) while living in the projects in New York city. All twelve graduated from college, and earned advanced degrees. She believed in education for her children and worked third shift at a bank to support them after both husbands had died.
She became a Christian and helped her first husband found a storefront church in NYC that still exists today.

Blessings by Anna Quindlen is about a young man who gets hired by a wealthy old lady as the gardener at her home called The Blessing. He finds a baby that a young unmarried left on the doorstep and he keeps the baby hidden in his caretaker apartment and rears it as his own.

Something Blue is by Jean Christopher Spaugh who grew up around Pickens South Carolina. It is a tale of a young marriage with a young child and the forces that come against their dreams of happily ever after.

We took off today and visited Carrboro which is joined at the hip with Chapel Hill, NC. The air in both places was exuberant with hopes that UNC will whip up on Villanova tonight and be in the final two tomorrow. ALMOST made me want to be a college coed again; what fun!

There was a big ol' hearse called the HEELRAISER driving around with the UNC fight song blaring out its speakers...

Then onto a great seafood restaurant where I indulged up to my elbows in crab legs seasoned with Old Bay.....Yummo.....for a girl raised cracking blue crabs on the back porch of my parents Maryland beach house....it was about as good as it gets eating wise.

All Alone Am I

Curtis left yesterday. He is playing in our son Wayne's golf tournament being held to raise money for the Boy's Home.

A quote from my Lenten Devotional (Small Surrenders by Emilie Griffin)

"Solitude and silence are a human need for everyone. They offer an opportunity for reflection, and sorting things out. A journal is a way into solitude--empty your hearts and minds of the trivial, the distracting, annoying details and put yourself into the presence of God."

Have you had any solitude lately? I am trying to make the most of mine.

Good Things Cheap

Okay, yesterday made one week since we arrived at the house sit. We "celebrated" by going to a quilt shop in Raleigh....Curtis was SO excited. Donna spent way too much money!

Then we went to the grand opening of Ollies in Cary, NC. They had been advertising on tv and in the paper so we figured "what the hay". A big attraction was their motto: Good Things Cheap. In fact that is my mantra: I love good things cheap.

What we didn't know was yesterday was the GRAND OPENING....donuts, coffee, popcorn...and a Dixie Land Band in addition to huge crowds. There must have been a hundred (okay maybe 12) men in "suits" obviously from the corporate office which is rumored to be "up North" in the words of one customer.

I abandoned my shopping cart on the first "aisle" which is really a misnomer....aisles were more like paths with shoppers trying to navigate...kinda like rush hour traffic.

Curtis did manage to "bag me" a new cushion for my outdoor chaise lounge. Some obviously wild animal has been clawing my old one to pieces so a replacement piece was needed. That's all we got Ollie.....but I did meet and greet some nice people in those crowded paths you call aisles.

Then I went to TJMaxx.....(Do I have the best husband or what? He brings a book and contentedly reads while I shop. He even said "back so soon" when I got out of the quilt shop. Whatta man!)

I love me some TJ and I rarely go now that I have one in Florence. When I had to travel to Charleston or Columbia, oh, I made special trips. Now that is available....not so much; like hardly ever.

I tried to remember what Big Mama said was "IN" on her Fashion Friday Blog. Something about pink being a hot color this spring, something about scarves, and ruffled knit shirts. I did manage to buy one cheap scarf, some new terry slippers (we won't talk about how old my old ones are) a NEW BATHING SUIT....I have been wearing the one my friend Bobbie gave me for at least five years (and I still like it...but when you go to the pool everyday you need a change of swimwear).

Looking in that full length mirror in the dressing room.....now that is a sore sight for my eyes....yuck....I will be going to the gym in a minute...."Tone and Tighten"..... here I come!

Housesitting 201

Thank you one and all for the prayers. And for any nonbelievers out there, listen up!

Trip to police station....a nonevent.....as they say in political circles (which you no doubt were unaware that I am circling in>)

Police politely fax copy of accident report to our insurance agent and give us a copy AND the teenager had insurance with State Farm (who has an office in Hartsville so we can take care of it when we get home) You Rock God!

Thank you, Kimberly for the reminder that it is GOD's car....so true and so easily forgotten!

Mary, while waiting for the police to do his thing after the accident; I did think about you and George on you way to your vacation last winter when accident happened....it was a comfort!

Now on to other trivia....

While C. was politicing with the police I was......you guessed it fans....antiquing. (I can't imagine why he didn't want me at the police station.....might be due to fact that I had reminded him of my first accident when I was in college and went to the police station and "nerves" made me act completely silly.....those who know me well can well imagine how silly I was and wonder I wasn't charged with exceeding the silliness limit.

When the insurance agent came to our house (you know that was back in the day) regarding said accident....being the friendly, extrovert, fool, I WAS I offered him a beer and I think (wince) I offered him one. Not sure that was appropriate.....needless to say my parents were not home.

I don't think C. will take me to see any insurance agents either. (Just a reminder folks, no alcohol was involved in the recent or past accident.....thank you God!)

I so want to show yu the treasures I bought at antique shop....but you know the photo thingy ain't workin'......later folks, later.

One last tidbit....I went to a spinning class at the gym last night! I had heard of them (I may live in bum-fiddle Egypt, but I KNOW about things :) I knew it involved bicycles not wool, so there!

There were ten experienced buff male cyclists and moi. It was 60 (count them) minutes long. I managed not to fall of bicycle; not to need CPR which teacher assured me was available if needed, and to keep up kinda sorta. I am PROUD to be walkin' this AM let me tell you! especially since I went to a S-T-R-e-c-h class Monday....

Oh, my Lord.....my body thinks I've gone to a health ranch....stay tuned for more exciting nonevents :)